In the morning I want to be dead because I can’t fact the day. At noon I want to live forever, because Sarah smiled at me. In the afternoon, I want a red sports car, because this geek next door has one. And in the evening I want to be anywhere but home because you are fighting with Mom again about nothing. Are you serious when you ask me “What do you really want?”

Adolescence is a term that generally covers the second decade of life and consists of three phases demarcated - for general purposes - into three age groups. Early adolescence ( 10-13), mid-adolescence (14-17) and late adolescence (18-20). Teens live more in the present that at any other time of their lives.

The developmental changes that occur are extensive and affect virtually every domain of a teen’s functioning. Other than infancy, in no other stage in life do so many rapid changes take place. In essence, an entirely new human begin is created in about 8 to 10 short years. Some of the changes are:

PUBERTAL: This, is of course changes in the teen’s appearance with accelerated growth, weight gain, changes in body configurations and maturing of the reproductive organs and the corresponding development of secondary sex characteristics. The hormonal changes underlying these changes are implicated in the increased moodiness of teenagers, their newfound interests in the opposite sex, and also an elevated level of aggression.

COGNITIVE CHANGES: Teens are able to deal with abstractions whereas earlier they dealt mostly in concrete operations. They can project thought into the future; examine previously unquestioned attitudes, behaviors, beliefs and values. They become the major focus of their own lives. It is a kind of egocentric life in which teens are almost on stage, playing to an imaginary audience totally focused on them and every nuance of their lives. Perhaps because of their understanding of their uniqueness, they usually believe that no one else can understand them.

THE CONSTRUCTION OF AN IDENTITY: Erik Erikson claimed that the major task of adolescence is to develop an identity, a sense of a self distinct from others, especially their parents. From their point of view it needs to be coherent and meaningful, acknowledging the full complexity of the individual and consistent with abilities and potential. Teens experiment with new roles at home and with their peers to help them define who they are. They often “appoint” well meaning people (such as their parents) to serve as their adversaries. Their defiance and appositional stance and refusal to do what their parents want is often part of the journey. As they mature, they are able to present themselves as distinct in more refined ways. An “identity crisis” is normal, but taken to extremes of worry and stress can result in a severely psychologically stressed individual.

NEW PEER BEHAVIORS: Teens use peers to explore their identities. The peer group changes in composition to include the opposite sex as well as well. They most often leave the protected, familiar neighborhood schools and established peer groups there and attend larger schools where they interact with a more diverse group of other teens. They are, naturally, unsure at first of how to conduct themselves in this new setting. They thus feel the need to conform to peer groups and stereotypes.

DEALING WITH SEXUALITY: Teens, for the first time, must deal with the full range of their sexuality, a part of their new awareness that intrudes on everyday functioning. It occupies dreams, fantasies, discussions, etc. . . It is complicated by the fact that many parents rarely communicate openly or comfortably about the psychological aspects of sex and sexuality. It leaves the teen to deal with unreliable sources such as friends, the Internet and associated pornography. Where one is at physically in relation to their peers is an additional pressure both for those who physically mature early as well as later.

SCHOOL AND ACHIEVEMENT PRESSURES Life also changes on the academic front. They usually no longer have a single teacher who knows them well and now have a different teacher every hour or so. More emphasis is placed on academic performance. They also have opportunities to compete or become involved with extracurricular activities. The rhythm of life begins to resemble that of an adult. Success or failure take on deeper consequences as their adult life looms. The school system by and large rewards the high achievers and sometimes disregards those who are not in that group.

RENEGOTIATING FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS Teens have a greater need for privacy, often expressed by closed or even locked doors to their bedroom. They express a preference for spending leisure time with peers rather than with family. Until they are about eleven years old, most parents know roughly 75% of their activities. By the time they’re 18, they’re lucky if they know 25%. Teens withhold information from their parents about their activities and feelings, even in the face of questioning, or offer monosyllabic replies.

RISK TAKING: They often explore the limits of their newfound abilities, skills and social contexts. It is ubiquitous in this age group Failure to take any risks genuinely inhibits growth. Undue risk taking is potentially dangerous.

SUICIDE AND SELF HARM: Suicide is the third leading cause of death in the adolescent age group. The first is accidents - often from risk taking behavior. Chronic illness is the second. Suicidality is party of a continuum of behaviors rather than a distinct entity. The stresses are felt to be overwhelming and adolescents as risk takers and individuals who cannot see past the devastation of a moment are prone to this option. Moodiness, peer groups around negative norms, etc... all enhance the risk.

As regards potential for substance abuse, one has only to remember what we witnessed in the film, Roots of Addiction.

Typical teenage behavior often includes:

• Deviance from family norms
• Increase in high-risk behavior and experimentation with anything that seems adult
• Conduct that comes across as surly and rebellious
• Highly defined peer groups, with strict conformity to peer standards
• Change in appearance, causing them to be more self-conscious
• Spending more time with peers than with family
• Intense emotional states
• High idealism
• Increase in independent thoughts and more ability to make decisions

In contrast, typical substance abuse behaviors might include:

• Radical mood swings
• Disruption in sleeping patterns
• Significant weight loss (emphasis on significant)
• Change in a peer group that results in secretive behavior
• Truancy and a decline in scholastic effort
• Delinquent behaviors
• Frequent high risk behaviors
• Disinhibition
• Increasing agitation and irritability

As difficult as it can be sometimes, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open, particularly true in teenage years. You may find that the conversations take on a new intellectual and idealistic level. It reflects the growing complexity of their minds and their ability to abstract and project, as well as integrate knowledge from various sources. It is particularly helpful if you try to remember your feelings during the teenage time of your own life. The year may be different, and the entertainment and technology surely changed, but the feelings are the same throughout the generations.